A vote reflects the person making it
I see a person’s choice as a reflection of them: what they believe, what they value, what they have experienced, and what they want for their life. When someone votes, they are choosing from that perspective. But their perspective is not necessarily mine. Their priorities may be very different from the things that matter to me.
Their choice becomes my reality
This is where I struggle with democracy. Other people can choose something I do not want, and if enough of them choose it, I still have to live with the result. I may have disagreed from the beginning. I may have made a different choice. Yet the outcome still applies to me because it is the democratic decision.
Being allowed to choose is not the same as choosing the outcome
I understand that I can participate. I can express my preference and cast my vote. But having a say does not remove my discomfort when the result goes against what I want. My participation does not mean the outcome reflects me, and it does not turn somebody else’s preference into my own.
Why the majority does not settle it for me
The fact that more people want something does not, by itself, make me want it too. A larger number of people can share a preference while I still disagree with it. What troubles me is that their numbers give that preference the power to shape my life. I am expected to accept the consequence of a choice I did not make simply because more people made it.
I still have to live with it
For me, this is not only about accepting that other people think differently. I already know that they do. It is about what happens when their different way of thinking becomes a decision that governs my life as well. They choose according to who they are, but I share the consequences. That is the part I find difficult to reconcile.
That is why I do not think I want democracy
My position is more direct than saying I have a few questions about democracy. I do not think I want it, because I am uncomfortable with a system in which other people’s choices can become binding on me despite my disagreement. I want to explore that discomfort honestly. I have not set out an alternative here; I am explaining why democracy itself does not feel right to me.